Annoying Foods You Wish Would Go Away

Yes, it’s another Monday, but it’s pretty crappy one so far, dark here and cold.  Thanks for this Serious Eats weekly newsletter received today, and after I read ’em, I couldn’t help but just smile, and felt much better… it really saved my Monday.  It’s one of those threads that wouldn’t go away…keeps popping up in so many sites under different disguise.   But really, there are some foods/food trends that you would wish just be sent into the black hole and never be seen again, seriously (lol).  So if you are having some troubles with your Monday, I invite you to continue reading.

This started the thread —

“Since there have been a few posts here about specific food trends ( truffle oil, pork belly….) folks seem to like or dislike, lets just have open season on ’em. Tell me / us which one you are SICK OF or love, and why.

Here goes the “entertaining” comments and my notes/comments in italics.

RED VELVET CAKE, CUPCAKE….ANYTHING.
“I can taste the bitter red dye in most of the concoctions, and basically, it’s neither chocolate cake, even though it has a bit of cocoa in it, nor vanilla, either. It’s just sweet. With a bitter at the back of it all. Eeeew. The frosting, IMHO, is usually the only edible part if it’s a good cream cheese version.”

“It’s so nice to know someone else doesn’t care for red velvet. I’ve tried red velvet cupcakes made by one of the few chefs whose desserts I save room for and… nope, I just don’t get the fuss. Hers didn’t have a bitter tang (I’m guessing she did the vinegar thing rather than the food dye thing), but they just didn’t have much to recommend them beyond pretty red color.Her cakes have a nice crumb, and are always moist enough, but I want flavor, too. She did say, however, that red velvet and chocolate are the only cupcakes she bothers making because they’re the only ones that sell at her restaurant.”

(HAHA, it’s like the Kardashians and other similar reality shows, audience ask for more, and they get dozens more…the more, the merrier eh!)

“I would just like to whole-heartedly agree with everyone about the red velvet cake/cupcake thing. They are terrible! Disgusting! Whoever decided that putting an extraordinary amount of red food coloring into a less-than-chocolate cake and then try to mask it by slathering on gobs of gooey cream cheese mess on top obviously needs some sort of shock therapy to bring themselves back to reality. Ugh. Just ugh.  I just have to add…Just as I was scanning thru the comments, they began making Red Velvet Cupcakes on the Today show! LOL!”

“lol, this is cracking me up. I absolutely agree with most of you, especially about cupcakes; cupcakes are for children’s parties and should be made by your mother.
It’s a trend, then it blows over… it blows all the way over to France where I have to listen about cupcakes again.”

“OK, we get it. These bite-sized, pink-frosted, red-velveted cupcakes are as adorable as they are tasty. But after witnessing them at every wedding, social function, and fashion show for the past two years we’re gagging at the sweetness. Are adults really waiting in line for a treat once reserved for fourth-grade birthday parties? Even the Food Network has gotten into the act with their new show, Cupcake Wars. Really? An entire competition (with a $10,000 prize) about dueling bakers making something I could produce out of my vintage Easy-Bake oven? How about satisfying that sweet tooth with a slice of cake, a donut—even some fruit for dessert? Something, anything, but another cupcake.”

“Cupcakes all the way, don`t understand what all the fuss is about, go eat a muffin or a cake! all that crazy glazing up there, don`t like… :oP”

“-overpriced cupcakes ($5 for a little cupcake? really????)”

“Bacon flavored red velvet cupcakes with feta cheese frosting may be all the rage, but sounds like a combination I really don’t want to eat.”

ORGANIC FOODS

“Organic !!! I’m 56 yrs old and all the things that say are bad for us…well, my parents, grandparents all lived to a ripe old age and they ate foods that would be now a days, scorned. EAT, LIVE and be HAPPY :):)”

“I have to agree with Organic. I know people who won’t eat anything that’s not organic and they pay out the wazoo! Ridiculous in my opinion.”

BACON

“I love bacon, don’t get me wrong but it’s been, what, 3 years since the bacon fad started? It’s time to move on. It makes us true bacon lovers look bad.”

“Add my name to the “enough with bacon already” table :)”

“We get it. Bacon is tasty. Now get it out of my damn cupcake, please.”

“OK – I LOVE bacon, but what I just saw makes me wish the fad would die already. Bacon scented cologne! If I want to smell like bacon, I will just fry up a bunch of it without operating the exhaust fan in my kitchen. ”

Enough of Bacon?  Nah, Denny’s looking for more bacon recipes.  And Chicago’s hosting  Baconfest Chicago 2011: Bigger, Better and Baconier Than Ever, duh.

CAKE POPS

“Oh, wait I have another. Cake pops. Generally sub-standard cake or box-mix junk jazzed up on a stick with Frosting. Ya get to charge extra for all the ick.”

“-cake pops (Sandra Lee did it with cheesecake years ago and all I could think was that she ruined a perfectly good cheesecake to make these stupid looking lollipops)”

LIQUID NITROGEN AND FOAMS

“Most of the time it looks like someone spit on the plate. And those awful smears of sauce which look like someone has smeared their dirty thumb across your plate. Not appealing!

COMPETITIVE COOKING

“Seriously, people, it’s not a sport. It’s meant to be savored and enjoyed.”

“Cupcake/cake competition shows. I watched “Cupcake Wars” and thought it was the most half-hearted attempt at a baking competition I’ve ever seen. Every time the host said “Cupcake Makers” I thought to myself, “that’s the best you could come up with?” In fact, and I hate to say this, all food competition shows. Iron Chef America is nothing but a parody of the original. The campy sound effects and “I say unto you in the words of my Uncle” are particularly cringe inducing. Don’t get me started on “Chopped.”
And can we PLEASE, PLEASE stop with using words like “succulent” and “tantalizing” and “luscious?!” If I hear another chef talking about how “succulent” their fresh Maine Lobster is, or a ridiculous voiceover blathering on about how “luscious” this Key Lime Pie Yoplait is, I’m going to throw my TV out the door.

“ARTISAN-al”

“The artisanal thing makes me crazy too. If you want to put the effort into making your food really good that’s great. If you are doing it as a marketing tool, get out of my face!

“Artisan anything annoys the crap out of me too. That and food snobbery. Great. You learned how to be an elitist snob. You feel you are entitled to only the best and anyone who thinks different must not know what they are talking about. Bravo. You just became an a$$hole. Mom would be proud.”

FRENCH MACARONS

“- (I just don’t get the drooling for these overly sweet puffs of sugar)”

“I’m so out of it — the French macaron thing is the only one that’s really registered – whaaa? And I did try one. Yup, it’s a French macaron all right. What is all the fuss about? I think it must be all those pretty colours. Designer food.”

FONDANT

“It is gross and icky, tastes like crap, and ruins perfectly good cakes. Give me plain ol’ buttercream, please.”

I second the motion.

CELEBRITIES COOKING AND WRITING COOKBOOKS

“Celebrities that have had nothing to do with food other than eating it jumping on the cooking show and cookbook bandwagon. Seriously, I couldn’t care less what Sheryl Crow thinks about food.”

Add to the long list…Eva Langoria, Gwyneth Paltrow.

GUY FIERI

“I hate Guy Fieri. He is symptomatic of the Food networks shift away from actual chefs and more towards “personalities” who have a rudimentary knowledge of how to boil water. That is how I describe Guy Fieri…”

“I hate his voice, his s–tty hair, his s–tty clothes, and his annoying “sunglasses on the back of his head” thing. His personality is abrasive, annoying, and obnoxious. ”

“Are there people out there who enjoy Guy’s obnoxious antics and who share in his belief that food can be “off the hook?” If so, SPEAK!

“His shows on food network highlight s–t food. His “cooking show” shows him cooking s–t food.  He is a shameless w–re, hawking all sorts of useless crap to cash on his temporary fame. He sells watches, shirts, bobble head dolls and yes, s–tty ass cookbooks. His “food” is barely edible and includes things such as “Cajun Chicken Alfredo” Which is just Alfredo chicken with Paul Prudhommes spice mix  thrown on top, or his “Cornbread stuffed meatloaf” which is just what you think it is.

I’m sure somebody out there loves Guy Fieri, I’ve seen it spelled Fairy too, lol.

So tell me, what other foods that should all be done away with?

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